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26/7/2017

Movie Star Listeners

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Oliver Driver is a bit of a TV and Theatre star in New Zealand. He has a great tip for us, where he says, "We are the stars of our own life's movie." We have the lead role, and our life and what happens to us is terribly important - to us.
What we have to realise is this is true of everyone we meet. We may think we are important and people will be impressed when they meet us...
BUT in that person's life we are not the star, not the lead actor. They are.
Oliver says we must treat everyone we meet as a movie star - the movie star in their own life.

Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, “Make me feel I’m important". So how do we go about this?
The key to making people feel important is simple: just listen.
The thing about listening is, it's active. 

When you are listening, it’s true that you shouldn’t be talking - that's called interrupting (and we learned that in Kindergarten).
One of the things we often do as we are listening, is is prepare how we re going to respond, while the the other person is talking. You don't want to seem like you can't hold up your end of the conversation. 
Wrong! In Dale Carnegie’s iconic book “How to Win Friends and Influence People," we learn that people fail to make  a favourable impression because they don't listen attentively. They have been so much concerned with what they are going to say next that they do not keep their ears open.

A bonus that comes with listening well - it makes you seem more interesting. Dale Carnegie says, “To be interesting, be interested." Give people an opportunity to talk about themselves and their ideas, seem genuinely interested, and they will, consequently, like you. So, hand-in-hand with being a good listener is encouragement. 

Some Tips For Active Listening:

Be honest:
If you don’t have time to truly listen, arrange to talk later.
Pay attention:
Give the person your FULL attention. If you’re on the telephone, don’t multi task by reading or typing on your computer. People will hear you striking the keyboard. This will not help build a good relationship. If you get a business call on your mobile phone while you’re driving, pull over or arrange to talk later.
Acknowledge active listening:
Give the speaker a response that says “YES I’m listening to you. I hear you”. Just demonstrate you are engaged.
Show active listening:
Use your body language to acknowledge you hear the other person. Nod, smile, lean forward, maintain eye contact, have an open body posture, be relaxed.
Reflect on what you heard:
Do this through your words, tone of voice, body position and gestures – so the other person knows he’s understood. You can paraphrase what speaker said. “My understanding of what you said is….” or  “let me see if I understand what you’ve been saying…”
Reflect feelings:
When a  speaker is feeling strongly about something, their emotions are engaged. In order to really listen to the person (as opposed to just hearing their words) you need to be in touch with the feelings. Let the speaker work through the emotion before you respond. Then paraphrase the feelings and the facts to let the speaker know you’ve heard.
Don’t judge:
Everyone has the right to express their opinions. You may not agree – but you should respect the other person’s right to their feeling. So don’t judge verbally, or non verbally with your body language.
Respond:
Always say something, even if it’s just “I’ll get back to you.” Say what’s appropriate to the situation. Be honest, respectful. Treat the other person the way you would like to be treated.
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me
25/5/2019 01:39:56 pm

where the video

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    Greetings to all the families and friends of Western Heights school.
    I am truly excited at the prospect of coming to work at this wonderful school each day.
    Family:
    My wife Jacqualene is the Principal of Mangere Central. She has outstanding skills and talents in administration, curriculum design and integration of ICT into the teaching and learning programme.
    My son Tiaki is a bright boy, very keen on technology, a bit of a musician, and a very talented footballer and softballer. Tiaki was the youngest footballer to make it into the National Talent Centre, and was MVP at the South Island Softball Champs.
    I also have two adult children and two grandchildren - all in Australia.

    Western Heights school is a wonderful school, staffed with exceptional teachers and support staff; led by an outstanding Board; and supported by an enthusiastic and committed parent community.

    Career:
    I began teaching aged 19, some 41 years ago, and began my 20th year as a principal at this wonderful school in 2014.

    Principal of Tareha School                              - Napier 2 years
    Deputy Principal Prospect School                  - west Auckland 7 years
    Principal Pomaria School                               - west Auckland 7 years
    Principal Te Akau ki Papamoa School           - Bay of Plenty 3 years
    Principal Kaiapoi Borough School                 - Canterbury 8 years

    President of Waitakere Area Principals Association 2003 - 92 schools 
    Apple Distinguished Educator Award - 2009. Sponsored to Apple Headquarters in Cupertino, USA.
    Secretary Auckland Computers in Education Society
    Primary Principals’ Representative - Primary Sector Education Advisory Committee
    Waitakere City Council - Award for Outstanding Contribution to Education, 2003.
    Presenter at UNESCO Conference on Values in Education, 2002.
    Guest speaker - International Principal's Federation Conference, Auckland 2002.
    Ministry contracted trainer - Implementation of New National Administration Guidelines
    First Time Principals’ Mentor for Ministry of Education in Auckland and Christchurch.
    Mentored new principals of four Canterbury schools.
    University of Canterbury School Curriculum Development Facilitator - e- Learning, ICT in 2011 and 2012. Worked with 70 schools.
    Post Grad Studies at Mindlab 2016

    Personal Achievements
    Sportsman of Year - Christchurch College of Education 1978 
    Canterbury Colts Softball representative
    National League football with Woolston FC
    Waimakariri Football Club Junior Coach of the Year - 2011, 2012, 2013

    Philosophy
    I believe passionately in all learners becoming independent.
    My Vision has always been of “Growing Great Kids” who are self managing, self motivating, self moderating, independent leaders of their own learning.
    This has been achieved through “Dream. Grow. Shine. Reflect.” 
         Children choose appropriate goals. 
         They develop an effective action plan to achieve those goals. 
         They identify success criteria - what we can expect to see when success is achieved. 
         They reflect on their goals, their plan and their outcomes and make decisions in light of this.

    We know that positive relationships are the key to success, not just in learning but in all aspects of life. Positive relationships are built on trust, honesty, respect, and genuine concern, and nurtured through active listening and time spent together.
    Whanau (Family) Relationships are the basis for all I do and the way I teach, coach and lead. For this reason, I set great store in being open to and available to children, staff and community.
    As examples of this, we now have a presence on Facebook, a Twitter account, a revamped web site, an Open Door policy for access to me, and my personal email and cell phone number available to you all.

    My door is open, my cell phone switched on and email launched - feel free to contact me any time.

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​AUCKLAND 0612

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  • Home - Kāinga
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  • Learning - Akoranga
    • Learning through Structured Play
    • Learning through Play the WHS Way
    • Creativity through Play
    • Bush Classroom
    • Learning Philosophy >
      • Four Original Languages
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    • 360º Images
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    • Principal's Page >
      • Mr M's Bio
      • Principal's Appraisals
      • Ash's Blog
    • Deputy Principals
    • Support Staff
    • Teaching Team
    • Job Vacancies
  • Media - Hunga Pāpāho
    • NZ Champions - Rippa
    • You Tube Channel
    • Photos - Ngā Pikitia
    • Book Characters
  • Contacts - Whakapā
  • Strategic Plan - Mahere Rautaki
    • KCs and KTs >
      • Foundation Stones
      • Whakatauki
    • Financial Reports - Mahere Pūtea
  • Porotaka Pounamu
    • WHO
    • WHY
    • HOW
    • WHAT